2016/08/13 1:00 AM

dreams of pink


Top: Heart Hips (@ Ross) // White Jeans: Charlotte Russe // Striped Button-Down: H&M // Lace-Up Flats: Chinese Laundry

I've been taking an unintentional break from the blog for the past couple of weeks. I'd like to say it's not an "often" type of thing, but unfortunately I find myself lost out in the land of non-productivity more often than not.
It's tough to not allow life to get in the way, especially as a blogger with a smaller following. 

But aside from this need-to-break habit...
As I was on my way out of West Palm Beach, I had been dying to do photos by the walls of flowers and greenery at the outlets. It was just too pretty to pass up a photo shoot opportunity.
And the outfit I styled went right along with the background.
This top is actually a dress tucked into the high-waisted jeans. I do this quite often just because dresses are so versatile and fun to play with.
The shoes are my new little beauties that I could not wait to wear - ending up in blistery ankles but we don't have to discuss that. Just be sure to wear band-aids when breaking in new shoes.

There's so much on my mind that I want to write about. Blogging has been my outlet, and taking a break has resulted in holding in everything that I've wanted to say as of late.
You know how people refer to your twenties as your "selfish years?"
The past few months I've been doing whatever I can to help out with what other people need, but at the same time I feel as though I've also been incredibly selfish. It's human instinct to think about yourself and your wants before most other things. Although I try to put others first, it's all too easy to revert back to selfish tendencies.
But I have been reading about solutions to this and that - and the main problem-solver is to act out of love.
The thing is, people of this generation have created this entirely different idea of what love is. Or maybe, they have just lost it altogether. I'm not quite sure, but I do know that it's scary.
Because, people have fallen into this pattern of throwing away others when they no longer serve useful to them, as if humans were just temporary things, like the litter he almost threw out onto the road before I stopped him, telling him that he can't just throw things away like that.
And I wish it was as easy to tell someone that about people. To stop. Don't just throw someone aside when it gets complicated or you find someone else who has what you want or you're just plain tired of having that person. People are not trash to be thrown away.
I understand that carrying people around until you find the right place to let them go can feel like a burden and that something better came along, something that you want now. But all that was asked of you was that you carry them to the recycling bin where they can be made into something better, something useful.
But I have found that you can't rely on people like that. You can't trust them not to just toss you aside.
Sometimes you have to pick yourself up from that road and find the bin yourself. Don't chase after the car they threw you out of - it's going too fast and in the wrong direction anyways.

Okay. Getting a little too caught up. I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that our selfish tendencies can often make other people feel less-than. And we don't stop enough to think about it. Because it's easier just to throw someone out the window and keep driving to where you're headed rather than thinking about the other person's goodwill.
Most of us can relate to being treated as litter, but if we really think about it, we've all been on the driver's side as well.
I don't want to be like that any longer. I want to choose to see the needs of others first and act/react out of love. It's all too easy to react out of hurt. This post is mainly written from a place of hurt - of heavy, silent rejection.
And it's okay to feel that hurt. What's not okay is to allow it to fuel your actions towards someone else. No one deserves to be treated unkindly or to be thrown aside.
But I believe that if we took the time to think more about other people before reacting out of our own feelings, things could be better. Our generation could find the true source of love again.
Because I know what it's like to be that unwanted weight. I could write for days about being pushed away without a word, because I no longer serve a purpose in that person's life. But what good does it do to only continue to dwell on it?
I can in return use this to change how I view and treat others. And I can march on over to that recycling bin and make something better of myself, not just for myself but to do God's will and to be made useful again in the lives that I come across.

So how will you choose to live? Will it be out of love - the same love given to us by the One who committed the ultimate act of love for us? Or will you continue to let hurt and selfishness drive your actions?
It's all a choice. As for me, I choose love. Because if I can show even just an ounce of love that God has revealed to me, that will make this life worthwhile.

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